rusty and happy.

SO I understand that I haven't posted in a really really -really- long time and I'm pretty fine with that as I'm sure you are as well. Still no computer but I did break up with Mr.Adorkable who wasn't so adorkable after all but was just kind of a jerk. These things happen.
Oh! I'm talking to The Grammer Nazi again (and he's still really hot)!
Senior year is kind of frustrating. All this homework and college that I need to get prepared for and I'm still narrowly avoiding the teenage drama. How do you do that?! Seriously!?
I understand that Middle school is not your idea of glory days but omg! I'd take like, 1,000 middle school courses over this crap right now. I'll just have to tough it out though, just less than a year and I am a winner.

Le gasp!

I've been on a reading dry spell. For two whole long stinky months I've been picking up books and dropping them back because they're just not interesting. That has never happened to me before! I don't know why but none of the books here are "good enough" to me anymore. I have found one though that I'm determined to read. A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. It's about James' six week stay in rehab and what happens to him there. It's a nice little book and I'm taking my time with it.
Other than the book dry spell things have been going pretty well. Not anything out of the ordinary but nice simple things that make life easier to live. I really hope it stays that way. I won't cross my fingers though (I might jinx myself).

The Smell of Cookies is in the air...

Ah yes, I'm going to host a Great American Bake sale! It's for my senior project but none the less, I am rather excited. I don't know when I'll be hosting it (I have yet to be approved by the school). I'm sure I'll get to though. I hardly think cookies could hurt me or cause death.
OMG
My techy teacher is going through some crap right now. It's rather depressing and I hope that he'll be ok. People are really over reactive. It's obnoxious.
Anyways! I have been meaning to blog lately but I've caught the I-really-would-rather-not-exist-today bug. And the common cold. All is well though! I'm in a good mood today and that's what counts for the most part! =]

yawning never felt so aggrivating

I disdain the fact of waking up at six in the morning to a cell phone alarm clock and no coffee. Absolutely not a fan of it here. On the bright side.. well no, there is no brightside. It took me for-ev-er to find a bra this morning! It was completely not needed. I ended up with my lepoerd print one though, which makes me giggle. =]
So I don't know why but I keep thinking of Army Guy. I know I shouldn't but I actually can't help it. He's like a parasidic worm in my brain.
le sigh
time to go to class.

Happy as a penguin playing a banjo

Ahhhh, the sweet sweet feeling of being loved, or liked -a lot-

So where do I start?
I has a boyfriend! Yes, I actually got one that lives in the same town as yours truly and yes, he's pretty much way better than Army guy (who I still think deserves a swift kick to the crotch mind you).
He's a cutie-pa-tutie and I shall call him Adorkable on here. ^^
anyways!
More later but the librarians are lurking around.
cheers!

Life, and all other things related to such.

Define: My Life- a series of events in which ecta becomes disheartend and invigorated at the same time. Confusing, yes. But things can't get any more worse than they already are-- or can they?

Dictionary definitions probaby don't ask questions, but I suppose mine does. And it sounds vaguely dumb as well.
nix the vaguely. It does sound dumb.

So for the many (2) monthes that IU haven't blogged, I might as well give an explaination as to why I haven't.
Once upon a time, in a house very very far away (I wish) there lived a man with a wife and one daughter. This man happened to have a rather short temper and would respond irrationally to issues that perplexed, baffled, or pissed him off.
One day this charming man was surfing on the home computer (and I should point out that he does indeed have his own laptop) and suddenly... it froze!
dun dun dun...
The man stared at the computer dumbfounded and after a few moments he tapped the monitors side. He became increasingly annoyed at the computers lack of response to his tapping and started to rap upon the poor monitor harder. Every other hit to the screen and foul word would emit from his throat. Finally, he had had enough of this unresponsive computer. He ripped the cords from the wall and took he to the garage where he proceeded to smash the poor thing to bits.

Thus being the reason why I have no computer and must blog my frustrations vicariously through the school computer. Pathetic, no?

"Well ecta.. why don't you just get your own laptop?"
good idea! I'm saving up for one actually so I just have to use this computer until I do get one of my very own.
oh le sigh.

ahhh!!! real monsters (not really)!

So, I currently have no home comp and and sucking from the school one. Will update more later. Toodles!

Oh for shame.

So, currently, Army Guy is in Las Vegas right now with his ex finace instead of being here with me (like he's supposed to be).

And how, you may ask, did I come to find this out.

Effing facebook. His frigging status. He didn't even tell me at all! Hasn't tried to leave a message or anything.

In all honesty at a very big risk of sounding completely dramatic- I'm really hurt.
I was hoping for a lot out of this relationship. And he even promised not to break my heart while I promised to him that I wouldn't leave him. Le sigh. I didn't see it coming.
The funny thing is that I don't hate him. He took the risk of breaking my heart in order to get the fullest feeling in his, and while it's selfish and sucks nads for me, it's something I probably would've done to him (but I'd let him know about it) if I had the chance to get true love, or a freakin' good f*ck. I don't know what he wanted with his ex in Vegas. I just hope he get's his car tires slashed. and maybe an STD for karma's sake.
The odd thing is is that -he- wanted the relationship with me. For like, ever, he pined over me and practically worshiped the words I said to him. I didn't give a rat's ass how he felt back then. What caught my intrigue about him was that he seemed like a good genuine person. Always talked about how he felt and what he wanted and what he was thinking, and upon finding that, I fell for him. Really hard. I guess I just wan't cool enough for him in the end or something.
The one thing I need to do about this right now is let it go.
So what.
He did that to me, it hurt's, but I'll live through it. I'll pick up the pieces, stitch them back up, and give them to a man that has every chance to hurt it but won't. And he'll do the same for me.
At least I know now that I deserve way better than that. :]
Oh, and by the way, remember Hunky dude?
Yeah, he's not a douche bag, still a grammer nazi (and probably always will be), but not as bad as what I painted him into being.
He's also kinda helping me get over this a bit. Just with smiles.
It's nice to know people care.

So people are jerks. It's really sad how we treat eachother sometimes, but there's good in everyone.
Army Guy is a good guy, just not a smart one per se.
Should I be more mad at him?

Music and the other things floating around in this grey matter of mine,

I've been listening to Andy Mac for quite a bit now and I have to say that he is possibly the best person with an acoustic guitar, ever. He likes, bashes John Mayer across the head with his vocals AND harmonious strumming.
This is all opinion though. I don't really wish bad things to come to John Mayer, just, Andy Mac is SO much better.
Here, I'll even link you to his myspace because I adore him so much.
http://www.myspace.com/andymac <---- super cool link right there.

Today's been quite the rainy and sleepy day. I like it like this, it makes things even more refreshing. Although the peeps don't really agree. They sit there in their pajamas and watch tv, clicking mindlessly through the the channels as I breeze by, washing the dishes, cleaning the house, with a 100% happy smile on my face. In my pajamas. I don't really count that though, my pajamas are cute and I could go to Wal Mart in them without getting any glares by people who are better than thou (yet they still shop at Wal Mart).

I'm not gonna lie, I've gotten really attached to this HP Touch smart, I'm going to get one someday. I love it. You can like, touch it and it does stuff! It makes me giggle with such immature joy! I even made that little picture at the top right with microsoft paint! The little dudes name is zeep by the way.

short but to the point. well, whatever point was being made.

I miss home. I miss my cat. I miss my mom. I don't miss my bed. I miss my walks. I lied. I do miss my bed, and my blanket. Gosh, I'm such a baby.

Today I just chilled out with my brother and then skittered off to the mall. I hate the mall. Absolutely hate it. I did buy this really cute shirt at Macy's though. Other than that, I hate the mall.

AAAANNNNDDDD OMG I'm soooo excited! I get to see Mr. Hunky Army Guy next week! It wouldn't bother me if I just fell asleep until that. but whatever.

Spelling, I'm good at- Typo's just suck

So I gotta tell ya, I always read my blog posts after I publish them and figure out "Oh hey, I totally typed that wrong..."
I'm good at spelling, typing, not so much.
Anyways. I'm still in Idaho (only a week left)! Last night was Lisa's birthday party and for it she had it casino royale themed. Which was pretty rockin.
It was a $5 (holla!) buy in at the door and I, being not at all experienced in Texas Hold 'Em, had to just go with the flow and pick it up. It was winner takes all and guess who won? Yeah, me. Not that I'm tooting my own horn here, but it freaking rocked. Some chick got pissed after I cleaned her out and bought in again only to have me clean her out again 10 minutes later. It was pretty cool. I scampered off with $55 dollars and blue hair! Yes, I dyed it AGAIN! and now my nickname is smurf. Whatever.

Change of subject!!!!
A couple monthes back (March to be exact) I got a friend request over Myspace by this guy named Chris. I was like "Who in ze hell are you?" and he replied back saying that he added me thinking I was someone else and asked if we could still be friends. I shrugged it off thinking that he wouldn't talk to me or whatever. I got suspicous and started to snoop out his profile a few days later. Come to find out that he's 29, has two kids, and is divorced. I wouldn't have really had a problem with it but he lied to me. This I know. The only mutual friend that popped up was Kaye (and she's 40 miles away, oh yeah, and she's my sister (well best friend but I'm adopting her). Ok, so, how do I know that he lied to me? He's never met Kayelyn. and it's just gut feeling, I didn't trust the guy. Still don't. Anyways. He started to hit on me and I told him to back off, I wasn't comfortable with him. He backed off for a bit but after a month or so he started up again with the "Honey, baby, sweetheart" sh*t and I told him again "backoff" He didn't oblige and I just blew him off.
While he was talking to me he was also talking my friend Kayelyn up but worse. He was being lude and kept on crossing the line when she told him not to.
So, friday night she texted everyone on the phone she was using to not text her, her grandma is going to have the phone and she won't be there to respond. Chris, being a d*mbass, texts her and says "I can't wait to eat out your p*ssy"

Wrong move sucker.

Nana calls up kayes mom and tells her about the text. Kayelyn, feeling guilty for even talking to him takes the blame.
That very same night I got a message from Chris. This is what it said:
"I'm a friend from school and I'm 18yrs old, My name is chris, And its to save Kaylyne from trouble and me and her never meet. but we have at school."
mother f*cker. Really. I am so pissed right now.
anyways.
ugh. I can't type. I'll finished this later when I'm not all storm clouds and lightning bolts.

Idaho in for Lovers

Ok, maybe Idaho isn't for lovers per se, but I like it a lot.
I'm here with my siblings and know parents for heavens knows how long but I'm not oing to complain one bit, I completely love it here. We're dying my bangs purple right now and it's gonna be HAWT!
I saw Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince the night before last as well. Amazing stuff. Draco is now going to be my main squeeze, at least in my head anyways!!! :)
I have to go and wash it out though!!! toodles!!!

Is there no end to this madness?

Currently hearing: Just Got Paid by Johny Kemp

Currently trying to forget: My parents "body humping" and bobbing their heads to Just Got Paid.

Please if you are a parent and are reading this, do not do the previous in front of your children.

oh, while I'm here. . . HAPPY 4TH OF JULY! I love this day. Maybe it's all the hotdogs or hamburgers. Or maybe it's just because all the big explosions and pretty colors. I'm easily entertained.

It happened on a Friday night. . .

"You're in my way." I rapped at the wall which was, to be honest, in my way. I attempted to bribe it with a snickers earlier in the day, trying to coax it out of it's solitary stand, but alas, chocolate was not enough. Chocolate has never been not enough.
I don't know where I was going, or why I felt the need to be in the place where I wasn't going, but by golly, I needed somewhere to go and this stupid wall was keeping my from getting there. I could ax it down, burn it to the ground, or simply paint it. I mulled over my options for a bit. My ideas have never been enough. Just like chocolate, but they fall a bit short. You can't savor and enjoy them as much as you can with chocolate.
I decided that the wall was too much for me to handle so I walked away from it, figuring that there must be someone out there later who would come across this wall and stand victorious against it. That person would never be my. Instead, I dedicate my life to texting wars and wearing bikinis. Heaven knows I shouldn't, but I'm a defiant little brat.

(This has been a product of being really really -really- bored, Heaven help me).

sigh

Ok, time to take a big collective sigh from the world.

Now that we've sighed, let's hold our breath until our lungs explode. Alright, you don't have to, but I just might.

And that was not a sigh of relief. That was a sigh of sadness, depression, heartsickness, feeling lonely, and just wanting to be loved.

dun dun dun!

Now, sigh in relief!

I've been skittering around the house all week feeling the worst of depressions. I also have had to pee a lot. But that really shouldn't be that much worth mentioning. Maybe it should. Who knows? Certainly not I.

I do find myself quite happy now. That may be completely and 100% due to the fact that I'm talking to Armyguy. Sexy, hot, handsome, charming, not eaten by camel spiders, army guy.

So I think I love him. Forget about that one guy who I talked to that one time. He's a douche face anyways. And he's also terribly shadey. And a grammer nazi. And shallow. And a complete douche.

Let's not get unhappy here.

Letting my brain roam free in pastures of imagination.. or something along those lines. whatever.

Last Afternoon I had my very first margarita (virgin-- peach) and vegetarian burrito with one of the coolest chicks (Miss. Kendra) I know. It was pretty much the coolest day I've had in a while, and it was much needed.
I do need more afternoons like that to weed out my brain from guys problems and just focus on the cute guys with great butts we see passing by.
The transit being an exception of course. We spent a total of two hours on those buses. Half an hour of one it was pretty funny (to me at least. Poor Kendra had some guy with sunglasses on staring right at her the whole time. I'm sure he was just admiring, of course, his moobs were totally nipping).
So, hunky guy and I talked Thursday night and it was completely devoid of pervvy thoughts-- well, on his part anyways. oh well, thus is ramblings of my inner most thoughts, which really don't provide as much insight as per usual.
Anyways. I really can't get that a*shole of an ex boyfriend I have out of my head. Like a weed
he just won't stop popping up.
I really do feel terrible about it though, not that I want to get back with him, I just want the petty things to end.
Mr. Heartbroken sobby sob won't stop playing the pity card. It's really annoying now. ah well. w/e, right?

I must say though, crappy ex's aside, I'm totally swooning over a guy I'm never going to see again (and that's ok, I do have imagination) ;]

and the world takes a collective sigh, but wait!

So, the angels looks down upon my from their cloudy perch in the heavens and decided to smile upon me.
Yes, that's right. They had him call. I love angels.
So, no, he's not dead.
and no, he's not disinterested in me.
and no, he's not being gnawed on by camel spiders.
Am I on cloud nine right now?
well no, not really.
He called, but stupid me was hyped up on so much "omg, my life is amazing!" that I accidentally tripped and fell into a, um, conversation with a friend. We'll call him Hunky Dude.
Well, hunky dude and I talked about A LOT. and a lot wasn't so innocent. which puts me to shame.
I love my army man. That is what I've decided. I promised not to leave him and I'm not going to just because hunky dude is well. . . hunky.
sigh.
Why... WHY?!?!
Why after a miracle happens, something like this comes up? Just to tangle and mash up all of my feelings.
Kind of like putting them into a bottle and shaking it, kicking it, putting it on a leash and dragging it on a walk, taking a shower with it, doodling all over it, biting it, putting more feelings into it, shaking it again, dancing with it, smearing mashed potatoes all over it, letting a baby pee on it, and so on and so forth.
Silly ecta. What's wrong with me?
everything darling. everything.

Take this into consideration for a bit

So, here's my problem. I'm currently involved with a man deployed out in Iraq. I might as well tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth because it's not like I personally know any of you.
anyways.
Back to the problem.
Mr. Army Hunk and I met online, from there I added him on my messenger and we started talking. For a ferw months I really didn't take any weight into getting to know him until one day, he surprised me with a "Hey, wanna go on a roadtrip?"
This all lead down to loving relationship lane.
Well, here's the thing about loving relationship lane:
1) You have to have met the person. Only heavens knows if their not playing you along.
2) You have to be -ready- for a relationship that demands commitment.
3) At all costs, keep your cool on loving relationship lane.

At all three things I've mentioned, oh ho ho, I've failed.
I haven't met him personally, I just got out of a heart breaking relationship, and I'm not keeping my cool!
Currently: This blog is a vent and portal of all my fears and thoughts. You've been sucked in and therefore have been submitted to whatever the hell I'm doing. Cool with this?

So, Mr. Army Hunk and I haven't made contact in about four days.
Why is this a problem?
because I'm all of these:
1) Worried he might be dead and big huge camel spiders are crawling all over him.
2) Doubting our relationship-- What if he says the things he says to me to another chick on his msn? Am I being strung along?
3) Do I really love him? I feel so very strongly about him but how do you feel love?
4) Very very lonely and sad. Last week was rough and I really needed someone to talk to.

oh!
More vent!
Last week:
So Wednesday and Thursday were finals days. Hurrah for stupid tests that are easier than hookers on sale in the armpit of Idaho. Really.
So I took my Floriculture final (and aced it thank you very much) and started signing my friends yearbooks.
A few minutes into that Amanda (also known as douchette, which is her name from here on out)
tells me to start looking up to the white board. I grumble and continue signing the yearbook, paying no heed to said white board. So for the next ten minutes this pestering continues and my patience wanes. I finally look to Douchette and she's grinning-- bigtime. She instructs me to look at the white board in which I finally do. On it I see a paper plate. And not just any paper plate, it was a very ugly paper plate with an ugly face on it with an ugly smile and ugly hair. With a perplxed expression on my face I wonder why she is telling my to look at this. And then I see my name with an arrow pointed at the plate.
This shouldn't really be a thing for someone the cry about but when you try so very very hard to look your best each day and slap on a smile, it gets really really hard not to. I cried in my mothers arms to say the least.
Douchette got a nice laugh out of the "expression on my face" and the next morning commenced in telling my that I had a huge ass. Which makes no sense, I'm a size six and she's a size sixteen. Really, what sense does that make?!?!
anyways, to condense it all together.
I am very very sad and lonely.